On the afternoon of September 28th 2001, I was searching through ICQ white pages for people around my age and living in Western Australia. I found "Pez" aged 47. I checked out his info and learned he has terminal cancer, bronchioloalveolar carcinoma with multiple metastases, lungs, liver, spleen, rib cage, right shoulder, elbow. He said, "I have had a lung removed and now doctors tell me I have only 6 weeks left"
We chatted quiet a lot that day. Have you ever chatted to someone on the net and felt an immediate connection? Well that’s how I felt with Peter; we clicked, I knew we would be friends, it was like we had known each other years, not just hours.
Peter wrote, “It is strange sometimes; you meet someone online and you just know that there is friendship there, like now I feel as though I know you, but I have never met you.”

I was rapt to find myself a “Blue Rose”

He felt that he had exhausted all traditional medical avenues so I forwarded some natural health sites and said “you won't just get information from me, you have my friendship, support, hugs, and shoulder.” I went on to tell him “Just remember I am not just an ICQ number, or a stranger on the net. I am your friend and I will do what I can for you over the coming months and years; you are stuck with me :-) I live in Rockingham. You can phone me any hour of the day or night.”

We decided to meet in Fremantle for coffee. After we had our coffee we walked around the café strip: I couldn’t help but notice his colour improving the longer we stayed there, he actually looked healthier, was breathing easier, and I believed it was due to the fresh sea air.

At the time, he was staying with a family member who had recently married; it was not an ideal situation. In a nutshell, he believed the couple should have space.
He said “But I can’t live alone, I have been getting pressure from Doctors, Silver Chain, family, friends... seems all felt that I was putting myself in danger being by myself. I have been looking around in hope of finding someone, a friend who would share a place with me as a companion.”
I asked if he would like to come down to Rockingham and stay a few days a week. I explained that I have a small bungalow and would make it comfortable for him: He would have privacy, support and my friendship; I suggested he use the place as a haven.

Peter took up my offer and initially he was staying 3-4 days a week. I discovered we had much in common: We got along extremely well; we didn’t get in each other's way and gave each other space. It all felt so natural so it wasn’t long before I suggested he move into the bungalow permanently.

Often in the early hours of the morning when Pete can’t sleep because of the pain, breathing problems and nausea, we have deep, meaningful and very interesting conversations in his bungalow. I discovered Peter has had many experiences throughout the “college of life”, it hasn’t been easy, he’s a survivor and very intelligent. Most important of all, he respects my privacy and I respect his. I have never regretted taking Peter in, just sadness that something like this can happen to someone so nice. It seems so unfair. He is one of those special people.
Peter has chosen to pass away at home if at all possible; we have discussed the pros and cons, rights, and responsibilities. I feel ok about that. If he ends up being admitted to hospital, he stipulated what life saving measures should not to be used.

Silver Chain recently became involved. Pam and the other ladies have lovely natures, very caring, considerate and treat Pete with the utmost respect. She has let me know that part of her role involves supporting me as well. I also have the 24-hour support of friends like Ruth and Geoff, Wolf, Ian, Dorothy and Eric. They have also helped with bedding, fruit, meals, pc support, a listening ear etc. I figure I will be crying on their shoulders in the coming months. I don’t feel so alone now and it’s going to make things easier in the time ahead.

I feel so lucky that I have such good friends. No one has tried to tell me I shouldn't be doing this, instead they are coming out of the woodwork to offer support.

In the next few weeks I will be adding more to this page and progress reports.

Find out... why do I call him a Blue Rose?

Update 15/6/2002
Peter has been here living in my bungalow for over 7 months, when he first came he weighed just 32 kilos and had just months to live. I cook good meals for him, friends bring him extra fruit and I have been encouraging him to go for walks. Then I bought a bicycle and he started riding that. He recently rode 14 k's!
A few months ago he started gaining weight, he now weighs 52 kilos and his pain is more manageable. I have done some Panabaa on him, but its difficult to get lasting results when there is no muscle tone. Over the coming months I will be treating him more. He looks so good, its difficult to believe he has cancer.
I am blessed with great friends who have been of help and support through the difficult times, times when I had problems sleeping because he was in so much pain, having problems breathing and I thought I would find him dead in the bungalow the next morning. Touch wood, hopefully those days are behind us.
(He calls me his earth bound angel)

 Update 10/7/02
At times its one step forward, two steps backward, I rely on my friends for support and an escape at times. Peter's weight fluctuates around the 50-kilo mark. He still has moments of negativity, but less so.

Update 30/7/02
It's been 9 months now and the intensive support has paid off: Bringing about a change of attitude and different mindset. Instead of dying each day, he now lives each day: Peter has gone from 32 kilos and barely able to walk 10 metres without needing to rest ... to 54 kilos and riding a bicycle 14 Ks. He has found new strengths and reasons for living. All these improvements have given him improved ability and desire to self-care.
.......... The task has not been easy and it has been at some personal cost to me. The effort placing an increased burden and strain on me both physically and emotionally. During this time I have also provided support for my adopted parents and friends with the tragedies they have had to endure ...Although at times feeling drained and physically depleted I have received wonderful support myself from my friends. It has all been worth it.

Peter and I keep in touch, I wish him well, I have given him back the will to fight his demon. It's up to him now....
Special thanks to all those who have been there for me, give yourselves a pat on the back

Update 21/3/03
Peter passed away on the 18th, more details later

Started on 4th April 2002
Thank you for taking the time to read this, Kay
Copyright (kaydidit) for info on the author, go to Panabaa Release
This is a true story, as it is happening, feel free to forward it to your friends
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